Posts Tagged ‘Authentic Living’

Depression is a happening that many people would love to see an end to when they experience it.  In this invitation, healing depression is really an invitation to meet what is happening in the moments that you are aware of that happening.

A very tricky part of dealing with depression is that it has become a ‘something’ to get rid of to fix, rather than a way that a person might feel in a moment.  Seeing this as a ‘something’ tends to make it much bigger than it actually is in any moment – makes it look like it is happening in more than a moment, and then that gets magnified and confirmed into more of a ‘something’ to get rid of and people react to it.

The reaction is usually an attempt to get away from feeling depressed; looking for something to divert oneself from what is actually occurring, to distract yourself or override it by doing something. Sometimes this can alleviate the feeling for awhile, as you divert yourself away from what you are feeling.  However, this does not address the energy itself and so it will show up again and again and may even intensify.  This is often seen as people get more and more depressed as they medicate themselves to not feel it or attempt to ‘be happy’ and do uplifting things to get rid of feeling depressed, and nothing ‘works’, of course, because the person is attempting to get away from themselves.

Depression is a happening that has occurred in my own life.  After attempting suicide when I was 15 and finding out from that attempt that I did, in fact, want to live, whenever I felt depressed after that, the idea of getting rid of myself to stop the feeling just wasn’t an option for me. If such thoughts would present themselves to me, I couldn’t take them seriously so I decided to find another way to respond when depression showed up.

When you can diagnose yourself and say:  ‘I feel depressed’, instead of looking for some way to get away from feeling that way,
1.  stop, sit down and close your eyes.
2.  breathe deeply for a few breaths.
3.  look inside of yourself to see where energy is held down – for where you feel ‘depressed’ – there will be some area of you where you can feel energy being pressed down, being de-pressed in actuality.
4.  continue to breathe, relax your body open and feel the energy that is being depressed, just feel it, do not attempt to change it.  Relax open and Be With this happening and see what happens.

This number 4 step can feel enormous.  You can support yourself to feel what is happening by remembering that this energy is already ‘in’ you, it is not being created by the space you are giving it, it is already there. This means that you are already ‘able’ to be with this – even if it feels like it will engulf you, you are already with it so go for it.  It has been held for you, like in a parcel, or gift, just waiting to be opened….this is the opening to the present, to that gift.  Trust yourself to feel what this is that is already with you.

I have worked with many many people over a 20 year span  who have experienced depression.  People who are very aware of themselves energetically, and those who haven’t been even looking at:  “How do I actually feel right now?” or looking at life as anything more than the mundane happenings.  No matter how subtly or not subtly they know how to be with themSelves, they are  always are able to find where energy feels depressed inside if they have said:  ‘I feel depressed’.  This is 100% of the people who I have coached to look to see and feel the energy that is being depressed in the moment, they find the energy.  You can too.

‘You’ are waiting for ‘you’ in the form of these energies that are being pressed down inside.  Welcome to more of yourSelf, receiving the gift of the moment.


‘You’ are waiting for ‘you’ in the form of these energies that are being pressed down inside.  Welcome to more of yourSelf, receiving the gift of the moment.


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The Question:

“Since years (for most of those) some heavy emotions – such as anger, sadness, depression, anxiety,…- linked in relation with members of my family, are dwelling in me, creating in me a very obscure view of reality. Trying to take care of those and get free from them, I tried many things. Just to name a few, denying them, distracting myself or using positive thinking or suggestion only leaves me with the feeling of betraying myself or putting some stuff over “what’s there”, just pushing it further in me. Rationalizing or opening to the view of the others has helped a bit in broadening my view, but still, these emotions are staying there in my field, living through my thoughts, words or acts. Talking to the persons concerned, as tried, left me with the feeling that in most cases, this is something impossible and I then need to take care of it alone on my side.

I’d so much like to let go of these, “knowing” at some level that this is just scenarios, just the dream I built, and that my soul would have chosen these parents and family as the best soil for me to learn what I need to learn. Still, once again, “knowing” this doesn’t make these energies disappear and that’s some big things in which I feel stuck, without knowing how to manage them.
What I really want is to see the Truth through them (once again, I see enlightenment as the only real cure to this!). So these last days, I stayed alone, making my best to face this and feel them in my body. I know they are in my field, but I couldn’t locate (feel) them in my body. Just some scenarios often coming back on spinning in my head and that’s it, while I was, as usually, going back to the sensations in my body. Then, how can I manage those (to let them go, if that is what has to be)?”
S.C., Montreal, Quebec Canada

The Response:

Dear S.C.,
Thank you for your question.
Firstly, I feel to applaud your willingness to ‘hear’ what is really going on with all of this as well as your explorations up until now!  And, as you can see, Love will not desert you until the Truth of what is being invited is known or met – Love is with you in your curiosity and pursuit of the Truth of what this is all about.  So beautiful….

I like and agree with what you point to:  that your parents and family are the best soil for you to learn what you need to learn….why else would Consciousness arrange you to be born into this particular family with these particular parents?

Life is so beautifully and intrecately woven – a fabric made of one moment leading into the next with the weaver being Love itself.

All of what is occurring has its place in the Universe, in each moment, if it is Here.  The way we can know this is that it exists – obviously it has its place as it could not show up if not – it actually takes up the space (its part of the absolute) in the moment of its appearance as itself.  Yes, even Self that shows up as anger, sadness, depression and anxiety…they are equally part of the fabric of the moment if they show up, if they appear.

Love is calling, getting our attention if anger shows up…something matters to you if anger shows up.  (I will just use ‘anger’ as the example to respond for now).

Often what happens when the energy of ‘anger’ shows up, is our focus goes to the details of whatever gave rise to the anger, rather than allowing the focus to be curious about the energy of anger itself.

You share that you have felt the sensations as they rise, yet I am guessing that you have not done so with complete surrender yet.  This means that there can be no goal to feeling the sensations/energies – as if you will ‘get rid’ of them by feeling them.

Any little bit of an attempt to ‘get rid’ of any bit of what appears in the moment will keep it here as that push away (the attempt to get rid of it) is the exact energy that it will push back and continue to be here…with the side effect being the spinning thoughts about the scenarios.

Love will not desert you, it will not let go or disappear until you receive the Love of That.

This is very literal, in this case:  Love expressing itSelf as anger because something matters to your heart.  Anger would not show up otherwise.  It is handy to know this so you can look to see what it is that is ‘mattering’ to you in the moment that anger rises.

To do this, you do not need to actually be with your family members that happen to trigger anger alive in you, you can simply remember any time that this has occurred in what looks like ‘the past’ and the anger will show up.  You can consciously call on it to become present by using the mind to remember what happened in the apparent past when anger rose.  The details will appear freshly in the moment that you call them alive…that you invite them into the moment by thinking of them.  In this way we can make use of the mind.

Then (breathing deeply throughout) look to see what matters about the scenario to you, look to your heart for this.  This may come in layers, keep going until you feel totally satisfied that you have found out what matters to you about these details, then open to that – open to your own heart and feel the energy, perhaps pain or hurt, that might be there around these details.  Lay yourSelf down With these energies, give up attempting to change or get rid of them and instead feel them, exactly as they are – surrender to That (the expression of the energy might be anywhere in what appears as the body, not necessarily just the heart area).

You will only know if the surrender is complete, by bringing up the original scenario that enticed anger alive and see what happens.  If more anger, then follow that where it will lead you inside of yourself, keep with this process until Love is exposed… the energy will transform itself.

In this way you will find out, as a side effect, what Love has been attempting to share with you – the gift of the moment.

Thank you S.C. for asking this question, both for yourself and I imagine that many people who receive this Satsang Invitation will resonate with this.

With Love,

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This Satsang invitation is to look at life as NonDual Awareness playing ‘Being Human’…with yourself as that human.

This is in recognition that all is happening in each moment. Looking here, at what is happening, one might notice that there is a human being. A human ‘being’ him or her Self.

This is Awareness spilling itself in the appearance of a human being. It spills itself in each moment as the air that you are breathing; as the sound of a clock ticking; as these words on the computer screen; as this information being received by you; as the intelligence that understands the words… Awareness is playing itself exactly like this – like it is.

That it is ‘nondual’ is that there is no separation from all else which is happening in each moment. The words on your computer screen; the background that the words show up on; the smells and sounds that are happening as this reading is happening; the functioning of the body – can you really separate any of that out of the moment and say it is not happening? No, impossible. This shows the non-separation of it all. It is an amazing orchestra of happenings all in unison…no matter what it is that is happening.

We have been all taught to look at each part as if it is separate, as if it is a thing. That’s ok, we do not want to erase this learning… instead the invitation is to simply look at it all newly, in the way that it truly displays itself to you in each moment. As a vast play of Awareness and you, as Awareness, gets to be aware of it all…to receive That.

Come and join with us in Satsang, either in person or simply where you are, in looking toward this fact of existence, looking at it all as it is. It is in support of ourselves relaxing into our part in the play of All…inviting yourself to relax into each moment as the play of nondual awareness that you are.

Go to: http://www.canelamichelle.com/schedule to find out where Satsang with Canela is happening or to request Canela to offer Satsang in your area of the world.

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This week’s Invitation is ‘Being True to You’ which sounds pretty straight forward, and yet, this is not what our ‘training’ points too. The regular training is about being there for everyone else, making ourSelf the last on the list of who to take care of.

The invitation here is to open to yourself, to check it out with her or him – what feels to be the most loving to him or her in any apparent choice point?

Rarely (up until now) have we been taught to check with ourSelves before taking action. This is not a usual ‘step’ in the process of figuring out, in the moment, which way to step, what to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to. What has been taught is to follow what ever someone else wants, to make them first – father, mother, boss, government. We are even told that this is the most loving action to do; that this is humble; that this is good; that we are being good if we do so. The invitation is to check it out in your own direct experience: to check out and see what happens when you include this person who is here with you, this One – him, her, to check it out with him or her to see what might appear to be the most loving in the moment of looking, and then follow through with the answer.

The answer will always change, the details change, you change, nothing remains the same so the scenario will never look the same. In one moment it may appear to be most loving (inclusive of yourself) to take action in the same direction that someone else wishes you to make, what they would like. In the next moment, that might not be the most loving, and then daring to say ‘yes’ to you. Trusting yourself and also giving yourself the space to simply look and see what he or she might like in the moment…this is the part that has been more unusual collectively.

When one gives themself space to be heard, one gives that to each and every human being in existence simply because you are a representation of All. Inclusion of yourself and what shows up to be true to you is actually including Love and giving space for Love to be heard. It might seem that this is a leap, simply because it is not what the collective has been invited to, or taught. Please do take the leap anyways, include this One, be true to this ‘you’ who shows up here in each moment, no more no less than That.

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